Cybersex, it’s a phenomenon which has taken the world by storm. If you have used the internet within the past 12months, chances are you have been exposed to it, or that you have even taken part in it. Naughty. Naughty. But what is it? Where did it come from? Why is it so controversial? And why do we love it? Let’s take a journey and see how cybersex has shaped the way society uses and views the internet.
Dr. Sheri Meyers, a relationship expert from the US, defines cyber sex as being when “you're going online and literally having sex, or getting titillated by interacting with another person or a group of people. Cybersex is where you are sharing your fantasies and where you're talking about your sex life. You might even be masturbating as you do it, or asking them what they're doing. With webcams, there's even the show-and-tell aspect to it all”.
There are misinformed preconceptions that those who partake in cybersex are nerds with acne who can’t get the real thing. That may be true for a minority of cybersexers (if that is a word), but such is the popularity of cybersex, that even those considered to be attractive are giving it a go. Engaging in cybersex is relatively easy and in most cases, participants may remain anonymous.
Another misconception is that the majority of people who partake in cybersex are male, and that cybersex is not particularly popular amongst females, but according to Marnie C. Ferree in her article titled “Women and the web: cyber sex activity and implications”, women are well represented in the world of cybersex, and are active in their participation of cybersex. Fernee explains that women may have grown fond of cybersex because of the secrecy and security it affords them, and so women are just as likely to participate in forms of cybersex as men.
Traditionally cybersex has been limited to use in chatrooms, webcam shows, and porn sites, but the evolutionary nature of the internet means that there are always new ways in which cyber sex can be adapted. Take Second Life for example. Second Life is a MUD (Multi User Domain) whereby individuals may create an avatar in a cyber world, and if they choose, have sex with other people’s avatars. It can be argued that Cybersex’s popularity in Second Life is largely due to man’s quest for perfection; as the majority of people’s avatars in Second Life are a reflection of their fantasies. The majority of female avatars in Second Life, are portrayed as being slim, big breasted, with full lips, full body tan, revealing clothing and oozing with sex appeal. It’s not hard to see why sex is firmly entrenched in the fabric of Second Life. The majority of these avatars in no way directly reflect their owner’s appearance, but are tools for sexual interaction. For a minority, the profile of a Second Life user is that of someone who has next to zero social skills and is someone who is very insecure abut themselves, and so they create an avatar to live through. They create what they wish they were, and for most of these people the only sexual interaction they have is through Second Life.
Cybersex has its protractors, and there are those who feel that internet porn is a form of substance abuse and that those who regularly partake in cyber sex are addicts. Mary Anne Layden, co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of Pennsylvania's Center for Cognitive Therapy, has likened porn addiction to that of cocaine, stating that “pornography addicts have a more difficult time recovering from their addiction than cocaine addicts, since coke users can get the drug out of their system, but pornographic images stay in the brain forever”. According to this, the ramifications for those with addictive personalities, who enjoy cybersex, could prove to be detrimental to their mental health and any future relationships they may have with “real” people.
Finally, if you are experiencing an addiction to porn, then why not take the aptly named “Cybersex Addiction Test” on the Healthy Place website, http://www.healthyplace.com/psychological-tests/cybersex-addiction-test/, and get yourself checked out before the effects of cybersex and porn addiction catch up to you!!!!!
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